Knot.

I'm so scared of failing,
I'm so scared of life fucking me over.
I can't stop feeling like tomorrow will be a bad day,
only to realize that it went ok.
I don't know what to do,
to stop feeling this way.

Into The Sea.

I am afraid I will come back to be that empty shell that just wanted to die.

But I can't stop feeling like that's the best way now, I don't want to go on, what's the point? I'm so embarrassed of relapsing again, I was so okay with feeling alive again and now everything's crushing and breaking, do I deserve it? Maybe. Gosh, I do deserve, but it doesn't stop being hurtful. How pathetic. Everything that I have left now is wait.

Wait until I go into the sea again.